Are you tired of the crushing emptiness of existence? Do the meaninglessness of life have you feeling like a hollow, unfulfilled shell of a human being?
Welcome to Existential Woe Reduction Therapy, where the certified professionals will help you confront, accept, and maybe even learn to live with the crushing reality that, no, you are not special, and, actually, you are probably just a tiny insignificant part of an uncaring, unforgiving universe.
1. Meaningful Mondays - Our patented program of forced optimism, guaranteed to make you feel marginally better about the futility of existence.
2. Absurd Philosophy - We'll teach you how to find meaning in the meaningless, or at least make you laugh at the absurdity of it all.
3. Futile Futurism - Our experts will help you plan for the inevitable heat death of the universe, because, let's face it, we all know it's coming.